Women's Prize Longlist Reading + Reading Retreat

Following on from my post last week I have now read a few more of the texts on the longlist. Taking my total to 6 out of the 16.  One thing that I feel really good about the fact that it has totally diversified the books I have on my read shelf.

Before the longlist was announced I had already read 4 of the books and can now add another 2 to that list. The first of these was "When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife" by Meena Kandasamy. This was the one book on the list that I was quite worried about because of the obvious trigger warnings of domestic abuse. As a survivor who walked away from 4 years of domestic violence I knew this could potentially have triggered a few emotional issues that it has taken me several years to move past. Instead it has made me feel empowered, strong and able to talk about what I experienced.  This book should be something that everyone has the opportunity to read. Perpetrators, survivors, people who have no experience of domestic abuse, people who have family or friends who are in or have been in abusive relationships, everyone. It is eye opening and demands that society look at the way these situations are perceived.

For me this was a complete 5 star read. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this deserves recognition.

Any novel that I read after Kandasamy would have a huge challenge on it's hands to compete with the quality of writing and the message it left with me.  The next text on the list I chose to read was "Home Fire" by Kamila Shamsie and unfortunately I feel it didn't live up to the legacy of "When I Hit You" leaving a lacklustre 3 star impression.  The story was a modern take on Antigone (which is one of my favourites) whereby the main characters were British Muslims who were all linked in different ways. It looked at Muslim identity and the experiences they have in society. The premise was excellent but I have to admit the romantic relationships made me cringe. The characters were extremely two dimensional and seemed flimsy throughout.  I felt no connection with any of the characters and ultimately ended up just feeling annoyed by them throughout.

On a more exciting note I have arrived today on a very special holiday with my husband. We are visiting the Isle of Arran off the West Coast of Scotland on a bit of a reading retreat (for me anyway).  This week I am preparing to take in some beautiful sights but also to read lots in our cosy little cottage in front of the log fire. I am writing this from our very kitsch, cosy living room with the fire going and ready to pick the next book on the list to read.

Some exciting news this week as promised on my Instagram is that I have decided to start a podcast based on my reading adventures. It will feature updates on what I am reading, guest speakers who also love reading and some funny reading experiences I have had recently.

Keep track on Instagram of my reading adventure this week for some spectacular photo updates!

Meg x

What Makes A Reader?

As someone who likes to surround myself in world of books I often hear the terms "reader" and "non-reader" banded around as if there are only two types of people in the world.  Whether it be colleagues, friends, family, people I meet through work there is a perception that there are some people in the world who are not readers.  When I think about this concept I find it very difficult to formulate my thoughts into words because what they mostly mean is that the person they are talking about does not enjoy reading rather than doesn't read anything at all.

A lot of our hobbies and habits are formed as children.  When we are in a social environment such as nursery or early years of school we do as we see other people doing.  We take social cues from those around us who we trust and this includes the hobbies that we pick up.  When I cast my memory back to my experiences of reading as a child I feel nothing but pure joy and escapism. As a self-diagnosed introvert social situations are my worst nightmare and always have been.

Growing up I had acquaintances and people I would speak to at school but only a very small group of real friends.  The agony of speaking to my peers and trying to fit into a social norm was just not something I wanted to be a part of.  Instead of going to my classmates' birthday parties and play dates I would stay at home and read books or pretend to be a reading teacher to all of my teddy bears and dolls. I was always reading books and my family kept me well stocked at every occasion.  The time that stands out most for me was my first discovery of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.  It was the year 2000 and my parents announced they were getting a divorce.  Our family home was to be sold as part of the proceedings and my life got turned completely inside out.

My wedding bouquet - made from pages of Harry Potter books.

Boxes were everywhere and my worldly belongings (as an 8 year old) were scattered among them.  It was late at night and I was anxious about moving school and having to meet new people.  I couldn't sleep and so I reached into the closest box to my bed.  The only book that was in there was Harry Potter.  I didn't know anything about it so I picked it up and fell completely unexpectedly into Harry's world.  Little did I know that 17 years later I would still be totally in love with the series and even have my own Harry Potter themed wedding.

Whenever anyone talks about divorce or asks me about my feelings about my parents' divorce I have to be realistic and say that there was so many more positives to the divorce than negatives.  Obviously the main one is my parents are both much happier now than they were when they were together but a close second is that I am not sure if my love and nostalgia over Harry would have been the same had he not become my friend at a time when I was so scared to face the outside world.

Fast forward these 17 (nearly 18!) years and I think about the people in my life who I am influenced by.  Neither of my parents are big on reading but my both of my grandmothers love to read and now my mother-in-law is a huge reader too.  This is a really nice thing we have in common because we share books and swap books and have gone to the Edinburgh International Book Festival together.

As an adult my husband was diagnosed with dyslexia.  Something he had struggled with his whole life.  Until he met me he had not read a single book in his life other than those that were read to him in high school English class.  This left him with a perception of reading that was far from positive.  He hated it.  When we first met he was intimidated by my job and by my love of books.  Last year I made it my mission to get him to try out audio books and to find a book he would enjoy.  On a long road trip we settled in to listen to Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows and from there things started to change for him.  We read the sequel together on Audible - he enjoyed them both a lot and found himself opening up to a new reading experience. 

At the age of 35 he had finally found his reading identity.  Books that he enjoyed, things he wanted to read and an eagerness to find out more about what he enjoys as a reader.  As someone who teaches 12-18 year olds English I find this so uplifting.  Every day I am met with reluctant readers who have the perception that dyslexia or other additional support needs are a reason that they can't pick up a book.  They are plagued with negative experiences of reading from their childhoods that have left the wrong impression. This can cause a block for their whole lives.  It makes me so sad that anyone can go through a lifetime without knowing what it is to step outside their own reality and into a world skillfully crafted by one of the many talented authors out there.

Ultimately there is no such thing as someone who is "not a reader" there are only those who are yet to find the book that will change their mind about reading.

The Women's Prize Longlist: Read, Reading, Want to Read

A few weeks ago I blogged about finding my reader identity again (most recent check - under the kitchen sink) which got me thinking about how to go about that.  One thing I am chronically aware of is the "comfort zone" blanket of authors I have knitted around myself and my buying habits. This year I WILL unpick those stitches and stretch my foot (just one mind!) onto the cold wooden floor of new reading horizons. One way I plan on doing this is by reading texts that are on longlisted for literary prizes.  The first longlist of the year that I plan to crack is the Women's Prize for Fiction. Quite honestly, I can't wait.

Books I have already read from the list are:
"See What I Have Done" by Sarah Schmidt
"Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine" by Gail Honeyman
"Three Things About Elsie" by Joanna Cannon
"The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock" by Imogen Hermes Gowar

All of which I have thoroughly enjoyed on their own merits.

Currently I am reading "When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife" by Meena Kandasamy.  This one I only started reading this morning and am about 20% through already. I am really appreciating the linguistic skills demonstrated by the author so far.

The other 11 I am definitely going to attempt to read aswell.  The ones I am most excited about are:
"The Ministry of Utmost Happiness" by Arundhati Roy
"Elmet" by Fiona Mozley
"Manhattan Beach" by Jennifer Egan
and "Sing, Unburied, Sing" by Jesmyn Ward


These are the ones I have heard good things about from readers who have similar tastes to my own.

The final 7 on the list all sound equally intriguing but I, as yet, have not heard as much about them. I definitely think there is a good variety of fiction to choose from on the list.  The issues covered are numerous.  If the 4 that I have already read are anything to go by then I am in for a real treat with the others.  So far the characters in each of the books have totally enthralled me.  I have such a soft spot for both Eleanor Oliphant and Flo Claybourne ("Three Things About Elsie") and really hope there are a few more big characters to get to know along the way.

This year's judges have a tough job ahead of them.

When getting my nose in a book cured most things short of school...

An apt quotation from Philip Larkin's "A Study of Reading Habits" - it both summarises my week and links nicely on from my previous post.

I often find myself wondering what it might be like to have time to read whenever I fancied or to work in an environment involving more reading.  Most people would argue that working as an English teacher would provide plenty of opportunities to read each day alas, this is not the case.  Most of the reading I do at work is either class texts (that I have read at least once before) or a pupil's work.  When reading pupils' jotters I have my marking brain on and usually have to switch quickly between styles and genres.

This time of year is always super busy and heavy on the marking load.  Between prelim marking, folio deadlines and extra study homework there is very little time left to read for pleasure.  This lead me to thinking of the strategies I use to squeeze in some reading time each day.  They are by no means groundbreaking but I find myself more and more grateful for the timeout from everything each day.

One of the first things I do in the morning is turn on my current audiobook.  It gives me a chance to "read" something while I shower, get dressed and generally potter around the house. While it is probably not conducive to a speedy morning routine it does afford me time to set my brain to function for the day ahead. Some mornings, when I have had a good sleep and feel energised (read: barely ever) I am ready with enough time to sit down with a cup of tea and a book before the time I leave for work.  As this is a rarity I definitely am grateful for audiobooks.

My drive to work continues with my audiobook but when I get to work I usually have a bit of down time to get a chapter or two of whatever physical book I am reading.  I am usually the first one from my department to arrive so the staff base is a quiet place to start the day.  My junior classes start every period of English with 10 minutes of personal reading time and I always read with them.  It models good reading habits and lets them see the value of reading time.  I really enjoy it and it starts the lesson off in a really quiet and calm way.

On my way home from work, depending on how the day has gone, I put my audiobook back on or sometimes listen to a podcast.  When I am home and cooking the dinner or pottering around the house there is always an audiobook playing from my phone.  I try to set aside a quiet time each night to read in my reading room but that depends on how much marking I have left to do.  I never set myself targets of a number of pages to get through or how many chapters to read because this is real life and sometimes reality just gets in the way.

In our current house I am lucky enough to get the use of the spare room as an office and reading space.  It is home to all of my books (or at least the ones that haven't found themselves dotted around elsewhere!) and my comfy reading chair.  It is full of fairy lights, candles and reading paraphernalia.  It always smells amazing because of the candles everywhere and is home to 3 of our guinea pigs who keep me company when I am working, reading or meditating.  It is a little sanctuary for me and it definitely helps me to focus more on my reading.

This week I have had quite a productive reading week.  I have now finished "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock" by Imogen Hermes Gower and started another of the Women's Prize longlisted books; "When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife" by Meena Kandasamy.  I also finished "The Belles" by Dhonielle Clayton on Audible and have started the second book in the "Frey and McGrey" series by Oscar de Muriel, "Fever in the Blood" - all of the hysterical laughter at the narrator's Scottish accent attempt is really making my week better!  I am currently looking into the longlist books for my Kindle so that I have them all in one place for my holibobs next week.

In memory of the wonderful Stephen Hawking, this week I will end on a remark he made:

"Look up at the stars and not down at your feet.  Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious."

Reading habits, choosing what to read and bookshop shenanigans...

The trickiest part of writing a blog, in my opinion, is the salutation right at the beginning.  I mean nobody wants to sound overly chirpy or false but being to cold and distant is not ideal either...hmm.  Must try harder. 

My goal is to make this whole blogging thing into a weekly habit (I mean how hard could it be?) so this warrants a new style of blogs.  I am not holding myself to wrap-ups, hauls and reviews but a whole manner of book related content.  I thought this week it would be interesting to start off by considering my own reading habits.  I will admit that this is not something I have previously given too much thought to if I am honest.  I've always kind of gone with the flow and not really paid too much attention to the habits I have picked up.  Taking a step back and thinking about my approach to reading comes with thanks to a few different realisations:

1. I realised I do not have a "favourite" genre any more. Which makes finding books pretty tricky sometimes.
2.  I find myself caught up in the hype of a new or upcoming book and don't stop to think about whether or not I am interested in the content, genre or style of writing.
3. A kind of combination of the above has left my shelves laden with books I am not even sure whether I will read or not. 

The kick starter to this actually happened in my local Waterstones yesterday afternoon when I was spending time with a friend and colleague.  She made a comment about liking to read the occasional "crappy crime" novel as well as making a beeline for the sci-fi shelf.  I found myself a bit overwhelmed because I found that there just wasn't a particular direction to look in for a genre or book that might interest me.  

As I kind of aimlessly sauntered around the shelves I was trying to recall the last time I went into a bookshop and "knew" what I was looking for.  When I really think about it I could pinpoint a rough idea of my final year of my undergraduate degree.  It was when I was head over heels with Shirley Jackson, Mary Shelley and Stephen King and, thus, all things Gothic fiction.  What was even trickier was to try to remember why I got away from that comfort zone.  When I look over my Goodreads summary for 2017 there are definitely a good few Gothic numbers amongst the books I read.  The realisation that I came to was that I didn't necessarily seek those out because they were Gothic fiction but rather because I had either heard of them recently or had been recommended them.

When I cast my memory over the books I have read most recently there is definitely a new genre that is creeping through and that is literary fiction.  Until recently I was naive as to the existence of this genre and when I found myself trying to categorise the books I was (mostly) reading I found it difficult.  Another genre I find myself drawn to is historical fiction.  I find when literary and historical fiction are mixed with a little bit of the Gothic I have an ideal book.

So my final questions were: what do I do about this predicament? Do I keep randomly picking up books or do I try to settle and look specifically for ones that fit in with my (let's be honest) ridiculously specific success criteria? Is there anything wrong with being a reader of random books?

At the moment my thoughts are that there is nothing wrong with reading the way I have been recently - random reading has lead me to discover so many great authors (Joanna Cannon, Heather Morris, Gail Honeyman...the list is endless).  In fact, random reading offers so many opportunities for rediscovery of reading identity if it is a conscious choice.  It is ridiculous how many books I bought and did not read last year and now when I look at some of those books I feel like I will probably never pick them up.  They don't really interest me, I am never in the mood for them.  It's most definitely an "it's not you, it's me" situation because there are, I'm sure, some fab books that are among those I probably won't read. 

Traditionally most of us set resolutions in January for the start of a new year (and, let's face it, break them in February) but I don't think that we should limit our target/resolution setting to that time of year.  Part of why I always break my resolutions is because I find myself pulling away from the idea of them being so fixed.  I hate being told what to do and so in the end I break them because I resent them after a while.  So I am not calling this a "resolution" but rather a promise to myself (and my bank!) that I will make a concerted effort in the coming months to rediscover my reading identity, not to buy endless amounts of hyped books that I am not interested in and to get rid of (or at least put to storage) books that I have never and will never pick up. 

An interesting week this week in terms of reading, I am currently listening to "The Belles" by Dhonielle Clayton and really enjoying it.  The narrator is brilliant! Alongside this I am also reading the beautiful hardback of "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock" and finding it totally enthralling.  Oozing with indulgent description and some extremely well developed characters.

Ending on a quotation from my current favourite film:
"You don't need everyone to love you, just a few good people."
-The Greatest Showman

Return after a long break!

Hello again!

It's been a fair wee while since I last blogged.  Unfortunately work and home life has taken over and, along with the holiday season I have felt a bit overwhelmed with it all. I am back and hoping to make 2018 the year of the blog.

I have read quite a few books since I last blogged so I am not going to go through all of them as that would make this a verrrrry long blog post!  I will summarise my favourites and how my overall Goodreads reading challenge went last  year.

In November last year I was struggling to decide what to spend my monthly Audible credit on.  It was one of those days that I needed to start a new audiobook but also didn't really have anything on my radar.  At work someone was talking about non-fiction books they had enjoyed and mentioned the book "My Sister Milly" by Gemma Dowler.   It documented the family experience of Milly's murder investigation and the trial of Levi Bellfield.  The book was brutally honest and a very emotional experience.  I gave 5 stars.  The quality of the story came from the raw emotion of the writing.  I would recommend this to anyone but I would also trigger warn of some mental health issues, murder, missing people and violence (including sexual).  It is a heartbreaking read and there were several moments within the narration where I felt that I was intruding on a family's suffering.

Another audiobook I delved into was The Dry by Jane Harper.  A lot of what I read is inspired by fellow book bloggers or Booktubers and the recommendations they put out.  Along with the mass rave reviews of this book I had also passed by this book in the windows and on the tables of several book stores.  I am so glad that I picked it up.   It followed the journey of Aaron, a Federal Agent who is called back to his home town in Australia following the death of his best friend, Luke, and his family.  I love a crime story every so often.  It's not a genre I read a lot of but whenever I get a chance to pick up a good crime story I remember why I love them.  This was one of those stories that was so well written that I just could not guess what was going on at any given time.  When I realised this was the start of a series I was so, so happy! I can't wait to read the next book!


Finally, and I have to say I have saved the best until last, When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi.  I struggle to think about this book without feeling emotional.  This was another non-fiction read which was a memoir of a brain surgeon who was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  I found this read so inspirational.  The way Paul looked at life and death and the bravery he demonstrated in his honest take on all of the emotions he felt was something everyone should learn from.  If I could have given this 10 stars I would have.  I broke my heart reading this.  Properly ugly crying in parts.  Trigger warning for those affected by cancer, death or terminal illnesses.

I did complete my Goodreads challenge of 50 books which I am pleased with considering I only properly started it in May last year.  This year I have tentatively set my goal at 52 books to read but I definitely need to aim higher than that.  I think that it will be no problem to read that many books this year but it depends on how the year plays out.

Coming up:  January Wrap Up.

Dracula - October Spooky Reads

A lot of what we know about the mythical vampire/vampyre comes from classics such as Dracula (Stoker) and The Vampyre (Polidori).  For all the love that I have for Gothic fiction I must admit most of the books that I have read fall in to the female Gothic genre.  I am part of an online book club where we vote for a few books each month and discuss them.  One such book for this month was Dracula and I have to say I was reluctant to start with.  I wasn't sure how I would get along with the style of writing - this is something I need to address because I usually end up really enjoying this

writing style more.

With a train trip to London and a week off work this book club choice could not have come at a better time.  The first thing that really stood out to me was the characterisation - I feel like the circle of characters welcomed the reader in to their adventures and allowed us to become invested in them.  In my opinion this is largely due to the narrative style Stoker uses.  The novel comprises of journal entries and letters between the characters.  This gives a real personal feel to the relationships we build with each character.  I can't think of many novels I have read where I have felt more welcome amongst the characters.

Having said all of this I did resent the portrayal of women.  I know that this was very much a standard, stereotypical and widely accepted portrayal of women from the era but it still doesn't sit well with me.  Mina has the potential to be a kick ass female (and definitely has moments where she is) but is let down by how emotionally sensitive she is in comparison to the male characters of the group.

This was a 4 star read for me because I did think there were a lot of plot points that needed a little bit more attention than what they got. Particularly towards the end of the story everything just felt too rushed and glossed over.

It was really clear to me that the tropes that we see in modern Gothic literature were all present but I think isolation was the one that really stood out for me.  The characters were all at their most vulnerable whenever they were left by themselves.  The isolation caused by perceived madness at the start had a really profound effect on my interpretation of the novel and the character of Jonathan.  As a reader I felt as though I was being taken on the journey of discovery along with each of the characters despite having more knowledge owing to the omniscient role played by the reader.

To me this was a masterpiece in writing for the maximum impact when it comes to this genre - the characters, plot and themes were so intricately built through a clever narrative with a subtle lacing of Gothic tropes all the way throughout.

Having read Rebecca at the beginning of the month I was really worried about whether there would be any book that could follow on from it.  The dread for me was that I would have a huge book hangover.  Luckily for me Dracula did not disappoint and gave me a fantastic avenue to continue with my Gothic reading list for the Halloween build up.

Next: Individual review of Rebecca and a reading wrap up for October.

Meg x